My dear friend Shannon sent me this article today that reminded her of me. It is about why women should start getting down on one knee and proposing to their significant other.
It got me thinking about the fact that I've become a person who doesn't like to follow the rules. Just because something has always been done a certain way, doesn't mean that it should keep being done that way. I have learned to love questioning the norm. Like taking prescription drugs to cover a symptom. Or leading a crazy busy life to numb a feeling I'm unsure about. Or that men have to propose to their girlfriends.
I proposed to Sean on our 3rd anniversary. In a time of my life when I was bumping up against some extreme resistance. The week prior, I had just accepted a corporate retail job for some extra cash and they were restricting what I could wear, how I needed to talk to customers, and determining the sales that I had to have each moth. It was bringing up some major shit within me that I'd never felt before. Every bone in my body was screaming for me to go the other way. It took me six months to truly listen.
The morning of our anniversary, I sat in meditation to feel all the feels. What I came away with was that there was no bone in my body that was resisting a life long commitment with my love. The idea to propose flashed into my body quickly, and I was so sure about it, that I wanted to act on it that day!
I obviously didn't have an expensive ring waiting in my underwear drawer for just this occasion. What I did, was run to my craft box and found three tiger's eye beads, which is a grounding stone used for protection, integrity and self-confidence. I tied the beads onto a piece of thread and held them in tightly in my palm as we exchanged cards. When it was my turn, I showed Sean what I had in my hand, and started tying the thread around his ring finger, stating that each bead represents you, me and us, the three most important parts of my life right now and hopefully forever. Will you marry me?
He looked at me with tears in his baby blues and said Yes!
Needless to say, the thread didn't last through the night. But it didn't matter because our love is so much more than what material is on our ring finger. Its held in the center of our beings. The ring that I do have, and will wear forever, is a ring handcrafted by my dad out of a 100 year old quarter. It's simple, sturdy, and a symbol of what is right for us.
I knew what I wanted. I asked for it. And I continue to get a life full of love that I don't have to wait for someone else to provide.
May you challenge the norms and go for what you want too!
I am on the journey to create joy and live with full happiness. And my wish for you is to do the same!
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